This week I’m onsite at the CASE-NAIS Independent Schools Conference in Seattle, and I’m thrilled to see so many sessions focused on alumni engagement. It speaks to a challenge so many schools are feeling: How do we get the attention of our busy former students when they are already bombarded with messages from every direction?

For most K-12 independent schools, the relationship is lopsided. We reach out only when we need something — a gift, a volunteer hour, a registration for the reunion. And then we wonder why event attendance is dropping and giving percentages stay flat. 

One eye-opening illustration of that one-way relationship? According to the most recent NAIS data, the median alumni giving rate for independent schools is just 7.1% and is gradually declining.

If we want to move past transactional and toward relational, we need to create a two-way conversation and lean into the one thing a school can provide better than anyone else: shared nostalgia.

The Science Behind Emotions

Let me start here with a disclaimer: The apple apparently DOES fall far from the tree. While my father is a career scientist who speaks the language of periodic tables and peer-reviewed journals, I majored in journalism and public relations and have always found comfort in the written word. Therefore, I needed to do a little digging to understand what makes humans (including alums) tick when it comes to engagement.

Enter developmental molecular biologist Dr. John Medina, who has written extensively on how the brain works. His work points to a tangible takeaway for those of us in school advancement:

“Vision trumps all other senses.”

Dr. Medina’s research shows that we remember 65% of what we see, compared to only 10% of what we hear. But before you start curating your school’s Instagram feed with touched-up photos and eye-catching infographics, keep in mind that being ‘visual-first’ is about more than just aesthetics. It’s also about finding the fastest biological route to emotional connection. While a thermometer representing your annual fund results is technically a visual, it’s not particularly engaging. It speaks to the head, not the heart.

For alums, visual retention turns into action when an image triggers a specific backstory. They don’t make decisions based on graphs … they engage when a photo of the old senior lounge or a video of a campus tradition pulls at their heartstrings. The right image (or video) acts as an impetus, triggering an emotional pull back to the people and places that shaped them.

When that connection is rooted in the past, we tap into the “Nostalgia Factor.” And this is where the concept moves from a creative idea to a proven engagement strategy. A study from the University of Minnesota’s Carlson School of Management found that nostalgia actually reduces a person’s desire for money and increases their willingness to give it away. (Seriously, how cool is science?)

Why is this the case? Because nostalgia fosters a deep sense of social support. When people feel that connection to their past, they feel “wealthier” in a social sense, which makes them more likely to support the institutions that shaped them. 

Transactional vs. Authentic Connection

When we understand that logic only informs a gift while emotion actually inspires it, the divide between “transactional” and “authentic” engagement becomes clear. To move from reporting to connecting, we have to change how we think about alumni engagement.

• Lead with Value: Shift the focus from what you want to what they need. Stop guessing what your alums want from your school. Ask them.
• Activate the Archive: Use those nostalgic visuals to remind them of the traditions and experiences that define their history with you.
• Measure the “Scroll-Stop”: Stop obsessing over open rates. Start measuring replies, shared memories, and click-throughs. When we change what we measure, we change how we communicate.

Meet Your Alums Where They Are

If we try to talk to every alum with the exact same tone, we inevitably appeal to no one. Resonance is personal, and what sparks a memory for a retired graduate from 1974 is likely to be wildly different from what interests a recent graduate who’s balancing the demands of college.

To be effective, your storytelling must reflect where your graduates are in their lives.

Graduates from the ’60s and ’70s: For those with a decades-long history with the school, tradition is everything. They want to feel connected to the school’s core values and history, even if the physical campus footprint or core leadership has changed. Focus on high-quality, classic visuals. Use “Then & Now” photos to show that while the campus has evolved, the mission is thriving.

Graduates from the ’80s and ’90s: This group tends to value transparency and measurable outcomes. They want to know that their support actually moves the needle for students today. Share brief, impact-driven content. A 60-second video of an alum-student mentoring session or a first-person student account of how the school shaped their life carries more weight than a college matriculation list.

Graduates from the ’00s and ’10s: This group of alums generally craves connection and a sense of belonging. They want to see themselves and their peers reflected in the school’s current story. Use social media to showcase alumni-submitted “flashback” photos alongside their current professional milestones.

Graduates from the ’20s: Younger alums have a lower tolerance for anything that feels staged or overly polished. Trust is built through direct, candid interaction using raw and low-fidelity imagery. Short, direct-to-camera video updates from current students or faculty will feel more “real” and trustworthy than a professionally-produced marketing film.

Build Your Future Strategy with a Nod to the Past

Every graduate carries a version of your school in their memory bank. But if the only time they hear from you is when you make an “ask,” you’re ignoring the most valuable asset they have: their connection to the place that helped shape them.

The transition from “transaction” to “engagement” happens only when you put their past before your school’s present needs. Lead with the heart and the visuals that trigger those memories — the engagement will follow.

Note: This post was inspired by a recent webinar I hosted in partnership with Vidigami. You can watch the session here.

LET’S TALK STRATEGY FOR YOUR ALUMNI PROGRAM